I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

New York

We would like to thank KRATOS1971 for this spectacular poem!

Yeah, I assume that I would have upgraded to a new ride by now too. Calling out all those reindeer names every time you need to take off would get old as sh*t.

Florida

Way to bust out the new swine flu accessories. Next time, just flick us all off and call us dirty outbreak monkeys! It will be a lot more subtle.

Michigan

I almost feel dumb for not automatically assuming this guy decorates himself at Christmas…and yes, my son can still go for that ride in your van!

New York