There are over 620,000 words in the English language and yet somehow none of them do this ANY justice.

New Jersey

FYI: Real women don’t take hair styling techniques from old Billy Ray Cyrus album covers.

Iowa

Why even bother trying to tame that wild horse? Maybe people will be more outraged when they see her tied to a hitching post outside.

Pennsylvania

Ahhh yes, the rare asexual female rat tail. Although rare, unfortunately they are not yet extinct.

Virginia

Walk ten feet and get some help from that hair salon because it looks like Bugs Bunny threw up on your head.

Unknown