We would like to once again stress “please do not attempt to imitate anything you see on this site. These individuals are the exact opposite of trained professionals, and you will probably get hurt, laughed at, and/or die.”

California

She’s not shopping, that deli just sells really, really fresh placenta.

Washington

Ummm Miss, that’s the wrong bottle.

Unknown

Back in my day, we didn’t have these fancy “Child Labor” laws. You already picked up as much dirt and dust off of the floor with your feet as you could, so it’s time to start the full body sweep now boy.

Oklahoma

Now go on! Get up there and get me my damn Fanta!

Georgia