Sir, you’re not even trying to be discrete, and she is obviously off the clock. You wouldn’t ask a McDonald’s employee for a cheeseburger if you saw her at Home Depot or something would you? Have some respect for boundaries.

Florida

I was not aware that barbers were still using the salad bowl as a styling instrument OR maybe she just happens to be a pee wee soccer player in 1992.

Kentucky

Apparently this is where Macy Gray has been hiding the last 5 years.

Texas

Hey Bubba, can you rub some Crisco on my back? I think I’m fixin’ to burn.

Florida

You look like you’re trying way too hard to get written into a Twilight book or something.

Oklahoma