I’m sorry sir, but those Christmas hams put you over the 12 item limit for this line.

Pennsylvania

I ‘wonder’ if she can tie ‘em in a knot or tie ‘em in a bow, because unfortunately I already know they wobble to an fro’.

Unknown

I passed out from the amount of obvious jokes that instantly rushed to my brain. Therefore, I will just let you list them for me in your comments. Have fun.

Texas

You are a grown ass man. You are too old, too big, and too dangerous to throw a tantrum when your mom won’t buy you a matchbox car.

Unknown

Before he died, did Elvis get a poodle pregnant? I don’t know, but I’m not here to judge….okay I am, but still.

Unknown