If you don’t teach them how to rock out and be completely bad ass from day one, it’s just a constant uphill battle against the man!

Pennsylvania

I think she just hangs out in the toy section all day waiting for someone to buy her and take her home.

Unknown

I would like to see some of the other options that you disregarded when narrowing your choices down to these two gems. Was “winning the lottery” and “finding a sugar momma” too high of bars for you to set for yourself?

Kansas

Georgia

How sad is it that being colorblind wouldn’t even be a valid excuse for rocking this mess?

Pennsylvania