Dear Texas, knock it off with this “everything is bigger in Texas” motto. There is no reason that it needs to apply to a belly dancer.

Texas

You aren’t Cher, and this isn’t Studio 54. Go home and un-embarrass yourself pronto.

Texas

Oh!!! Why couldn’t it have been a black widow that bit you?!

Texas

I’m going to have to give the edge here to Shamus O’Toole because of the sweet Abe Lincoln chinstrap, but that’s just me.

Texas

“Hey PoWM, what type of person would put a gerbil up their ass?”

Texas